Abuse comes in many forms such as physical, verbal, emotional and sexual. People being abused by their partners are not constantly being abused and the abuse is never inflicted at totally random times. There is a definite pattern for the abuse, which is recurring and appears to have three distinct phases. This pattern is commonly referred to as the CYCLE OF ABUSE. Show The first phase is the “Honeymoon Phase”. This phase is how the relationship starts. The abusive individual creates a safe space filled with love and a sense of security in the relationship. This phase holds a significant draw for the person who is experiencing the abuse as feelings of love are very powerful. The abusive person acts in ways they know their partner will desire and appreciate. The second phase is the “Tension Building Phase”. During this phase, the person experiencing the abuse is aware that tension within the relationship is increasing. The abusive partner may give the other partner the “silent treatment”, refusing to answer them or answering only in grunts. The abused individual tries to keep their abusive partner from becoming angry. For example, if he complains the children are too noisy, she quiets them or puts them to bed. If she does not like the clothes he is wearing, he changes into clothing in hopes she will approve. At this phase, some common terminology and actions used to control the abused individual are:
The tension continues to grow and the “Explosive Phase” occurs. This is the time that the abusive behaviour occurs whether it’s verbal, emotional, sexual and/or physical. There is nothing the person who is experiencing the abuse can do to prevent the abusive behaviour. No matter what, the abusive individual will find an excuse to abuse. At this phase, some common terminology and actions used to control the abused individual are:
After the abusive event, the abusive partner tries to get the relationship back the “Honeymoon Phase” by becoming the partner the other fell in love with. In order to do this, the abusive partner is often sincerely sorry for the abuse and many promises are made, saying “I’ll never do it again.”, “I’ll go to marriage counselling.”, “I’ll quit drinking.” However, in time, the tension begins building again and another explosion occurs. At this time, some common terminology and actions used to control the abused individual are:
This cycle of abuse will repeat itself again and again. In most abusive relationships the abuse becomes more frequent and severe and the Honeymoon Phase becomes shorter and shorter, and sometimes even disappears completely. The longer the cycle is allowed to continue the more dangerous it becomes for the person being abused and the less strength they have to employ a plan to leave. Feelings and behaviours of those involved during each phase.The Tension Building PhasePartner Experiencing Abuse:
Abusive Partner:
Children:
The Explosive PhasePartner Experiencing Abuse:
Abusive Partner:
Children:
The Honeymoon PhasePartner Experiencing Abuse:
Abusive Partner:
Children:
What are the 4 stages of the cycle of violence?The cycle of abuse is a four-stage cycle used to describe the way abuse sometimes occurs in relationships. The stages—tension, incident, reconciliation, and calm—repeat themselves over and over again if the abuse follows this pattern.
What is the Stage 3 of cycle of abuse?3. Reconciliation. After the incident of abuse, tension gradually begins to fade. In an attempt to move past the abuse, the abuser often uses kindness, gifts, and loving gestures to usher in a “honeymoon” stage.
What are the 5 cycles of emotional abuse?The five cycles codified—enmeshment, extreme overprotection and overindulgence, complete neglect, rage, and rejection/abandon- ment—were first published in Annals, the journal of the American Psychotherapy Association, in the Fall of 2002.
What is Phase 1 of the cycle of violence?Phase 1: Tension-Building. The abuser is argumentative, angry, uses yelling, criticism, swearing, and angry gestures. Sometimes the abuser will use coercion, threats or minor fights may occur.
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