What traits that might convince you to commit into a long term stable relationship?

What is the secret to a happy and long-lasting marriage? Although this timeless question seems to pop up at every wedding, anniversary, and engagement party, it is still hard to pinpoint an exact answer. Couples differ drastically, and even the best relationships require nurturing and care. If you’re young, in love, and wondering how you can “make it work,” turn to the happy older couples you know and ask them about the secrets to a long-lasting relationship. Seniors can provide wisdom and advice based on many years of experience. For more help, use the tips below.

What traits that might convince you to commit into a long term stable relationship?

Secrets to a Long-Lasting Relationship

Communication

If you can’t openly and honestly communicate with your partner, your relationship will suffer. Tell your partner what you want, what you need, what bothers you, how you’re feeling, etc. and ask them to return the favor. However, this doesn’t mean that you should say every thought that pops into your head: be respectful and kind as well. Effective communication can help you move past hardships as a couple, and it can also prevent minor issues from turning into major problems.

Compromise

In a healthy relationship, both people involved must make adjustments to accommodate the other person’s wishes. After all, if one partner gives and gives but never seems to receive anything back, they may feel resentful. You and your partner are independent, unique human beings, so you’re bound to disagree now and then. You must be willing to compromise, sacrificing some control for the health of the relationship. In addition, choose your battles carefully. Don’t have a major argument over something silly and ultimately unimportant.

Connection

Great romantic relationships are built upon strong connections. Beneath everything else, there ought to be a strong bond involving intimacy, friendship, common interests, goals, etc. This connection should give your relationship energy and make you want to spend time together. So if your relationship feels a bit “off,” think about the glue that has held you together all these years. In addition, foster your connection by making time for each other, developing shared interests, and supporting one another.

Commitment

If you want a long-term relationship, both partners need to commit to that shared future. Commitment can be scary, but it is also tremendously important. When both partners are dedicated to making the relationship work, they can effectively move past both little problems (distribution of housework, control of the TV remote) and major issues (snooping into a partner’s e-mail, emotional neglect, etc), because they are committed to staying together.

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The four Cs (communication, compromise, connection, and commitment) are important, but there are many other factors that contribute to the health of an enduring romantic bond. Consider these additional secrets to a long-lasting relationship:

  • Focus on having fun and making good memories together.
  • Take on challenges and obstacles together, supporting one another throughout.
  • Cherish your partner. Don’t be afraid to be “the one who loves the most.”
  • Fight respectfully. Don’t be a jerk or call your partner names.
  • Trust your partner, and don’t give in to jealousy or insecurity.
  • Consciously make an effort to brighten your partner’s day.
  • Accept that both you and your partner will change over time.

Love isn’t just a matter of luck; it requires dedication and a good attitude. There are many secrets to a long-lasting relationship, but if you make these strategies a habit and share them with your partner, you can build a strong foundation for the future.

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Respect for both oneself and others is a key characteristic of healthy relationships. In contrast, in unhealthy relationships, one partner tries to exert control and power over the other physically, sexually, and/or emotionally.

Healthy Relationships

Healthy relationships share certain characteristics that teens should be taught to expect. They include:

  • Mutual respect. Respect means that each person values who the other is and understands the other person’s boundaries.
  • Trust. Partners should place trust in each other and give each other the benefit of the doubt.
  • Honesty. Honesty builds trust and strengthens the relationship.
  • Compromise. In a dating relationship, each partner does not always get his or her way. Each should acknowledge different points of view and be willing to give and take.
  • Individuality. Neither partner should have to compromise who he/she is, and his/her identity should not be based on a partner’s. Each should continue seeing his or her friends and doing the things he/she loves. Each should be supportive of his/her partner wanting to pursue new hobbies or make new friends.
  • Good communication. Each partner should speak honestly and openly to avoid miscommunication. If one person needs to sort out his or her feelings first, the other partner should respect those wishes and wait until he or she is ready to talk.
  • Anger control. We all get angry, but how we express it can affect our relationships with others. Anger can be handled in healthy ways such as taking a deep breath, counting to ten, or talking it out.
  • Fighting fair. Everyone argues at some point, but those who are fair, stick to the subject, and avoid insults are more likely to come up with a possible solution. Partners should take a short break away from each other if the discussion gets too heated.
  • Problem solving. Dating partners can learn to solve problems and identify new solutions by breaking a problem into small parts or by talking through the situation.
  • Understanding. Each partner should take time to understand what the other might be feeling.
  • Self-confidence. When dating partners have confidence in themselves, it can help their relationships with others. It shows that they are calm and comfortable enough to allow others to express their opinions without forcing their own opinions on them.
  • Being a role model. By embodying what respect means, partners can inspire each other, friends, and family to also behave in a respectful way.
  • Healthy sexual relationship. Dating partners engage in a sexual relationship that both are comfortable with, and neither partner feels pressured or forced to engage in sexual activity that is outside his or her comfort zone or without consent.

Unhealthy Relationships

Unhealthy relationships are marked by characteristics such as disrespect and control. It is important for youth to be able to recognize signs of unhealthy relationships before they escalate. Some characteristics of unhealthy relationships include:

  • Control. One dating partner makes all the decisions and tells the other what to do, what to wear, or who to spend time with. He or she is unreasonably jealous, and/or tries to isolate the other partner from his or her friends and family.
  • Hostility. One dating partner picks a fight with or antagonizes the other dating partner. This may lead to one dating partner changing his or her behavior in order to avoid upsetting the other.
  • Dishonesty. One dating partner lies to or keeps information from the other. One dating partner steals from the other.
  • Disrespect. One dating partner makes fun of the opinions and interests of the other partner or destroys something that belongs to the partner.
  • Dependence. One dating partner feels that he or she “cannot live without” the other. He or she may threaten to do something drastic if the relationship ends.
  • Intimidation. One dating partner tries to control aspects of the other's life by making the other partner fearful or timid. One dating partner may attempt to keep his or her partner from friends and family or threaten violence or a break-up.
  • Physical violence. One partner uses force to get his or her way (such as hitting, slapping, grabbing, or shoving).
  • Sexual violence. One dating partner pressures or forces the other into sexual activity against his or her will or without consent.1

It is important to educate youth about the value of respect and the characteristics of healthy and unhealthy relationships before they start to date. Youth may not be equipped with the necessary skills to develop and maintain healthy relationships, and may not know how to break up in an appropriate way when necessary. Maintaining open lines of communication may help them form healthy relationships and recognize the signs of unhealthy relationships, thus preventing the violence before it starts.

Footnote

1 Adapted from Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. National Center for Injury Prevention and Control. (2005). Choose respect community action kit: Helping preteens and teens build healthy relationships. Retrieved from http://www.aldine.k12.tx.us/cms/file_process/download.cfm?docID=BED9BF514B2EAD07 (PDF, 60 pages)

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What traits that might convince you to commit into a long term stable relationship?

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What qualities are you looking for in a long term relationship?

These ideal attributes include:.
Maturity. This statement is not meant to echo the ever-advised mantra that maturity is important. ... .
Openness. The ideal partner is open, undefended and willing to be vulnerable. ... .
Honesty & Integrity. ... .
Respect & Independence. ... .
Empathy. ... .
Affection. ... .
Sense of Humor..

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Read on to find out which personality traits you should be working on (and flaunting) in order to attract love..
Trust. Joshua Ganderson/flickr. ... .
Friendliness. Flickr / Vladimir Pustovit. ... .
Vulnerability without neediness. ... .
Humility without embarrassment. ... .
Confidence without cockiness. ... .
Genuine interest. ... .
Sense of humor. ... .
Optimism..